


Rhyme Flies When You’re Having Fun

by Lorelei



Category: Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Cats, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, ToT: Chocolate Box, fun with rhymes, gentle giant, sweaty swordsman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-20 22:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12442905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorelei/pseuds/Lorelei
Summary: A vignette from the shipboard life of the new Dread Pirate Roberts and his favorite giant, in which the reader observes fencing practice and is treated to a game of rhyming wherein Fezzik has an ulterior motive.





	Rhyme Flies When You’re Having Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ephemeralblossom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralblossom/gifts).



Of all the swordsmen in the history of the world, there were five who had been declared the most swashbuckling. The Dread Pirate Roberts was among these five. The only one to have defeated him in a sword fight was, in fact, the Dread Pirate Roberts. Which is not to say, of course, that he had beaten himself in a sword fight, but rather than the previous Dread Pirate Roberts had bested the current Dread Pirate Roberts, Dread Pirate Roberts being more of a job title than a name. That had been a battle for the ages and the grace with which he had fought the prior Roberts was one of the things that had led to his inheriting the title. But that is another story.

The present Dread Pirate Roberts liked to maintain his form, even now that he was in the business of managing a crew of pirates rather than the business of avenging his father’s death. He leapt, sweaty and shirtless, about the deck of the Revenge, thrusting his sword into his practice dummy with a bend of his knee and a decisive follow-through in the hip, pausing occasionally to brush his mane of dark curls out of his face. Often the crew enjoyed watching their captain practice. His skill and dedication inspired admiration and loyalty in his band of merry men. Though there were one or two who had to fan themselves in frustration and retire below to their bunks to calm the overexcitement that his fencing practice could engender. Today, Roberts performed for an audience of one. Fortunately, that one was his very favorite audience of all possible audiences.

For, of all the men in the history of the world, five have been declared the kindest and the gentlest. Fezzik, who was among these five, lounged lazily in the sun, his massive head resting on the sturdy mast of the mainsail and his huge hands gently stroking the ship’s cat, who purred contentedly in the giant’s lap. Fezzik liked to watch his friend whirl about attacking the dummy, his toned chest glistening with the sheen of perspiration. Fezzik himself generally didn’t need a weapon. He could crush a coconut with his bare hands. But he admired his smaller friend’s grace and speed. And also his friend’s smile. The Dread Pirate Roberts had a beautiful smile that usually came with a twinkle in his dark eyes, framed by charming little crinkles.

The swordsman flourished his rapier and shouted “En garde!” as he advanced across the deck.

Fezzik smiled and said “Inigo, you’re working really hard.” 

The crew sometimes wondered why Fezzik called Roberts “Inigo”, but one did not really question either the Dread Pirate Roberts or his pet giant who could crush your head like a coconut.

Inigo laughed and replied “Is it rhyming time, my friend?”

“Friend, friend …” Fezzik’s brow furrowed in thought and then his face cleared. “I was wondering if an ear you could lend.”

“Of course!” Inigo replied, pausing in his exertions. “What is on your mind?”

“Tell me,” Fezzik asked, “where are the animals confined?”

Inigo tapped his lip as he considered his friend’s puzzle. “You mean like a farm?”

“No,” Fezzik replied, “where the elephant and the rhinoceros come to no harm.”

Inigo’s face brightened. “Ah, perhaps an animal park?”

Fezzik shook his head gently and thought a moment. “No, a place in the city where you could see an … aardvark.”

“Aha!” Inigo stepped forward in triumph. “You mean the zoo!”

“Yes!” Fezzik nodded and a huge smile spread slowly across his face. “Inigo, I love you.”

Inigo sheathed his sword and stepped over to place a soft kiss on Fezzik’s lips, caressing his cheek. “I love you too. Hey! That still rhymes. Zoo, you, too!”

Fezzik leaned in to kiss Inigo back, warmly and lingeringly. He stood, gently removing the cat from his lap. “Let’s take this below to our cabin, before we scare the crew.”


End file.
